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Friday, March 15, 2013

One week later

Its been a full week since the surgery. I now have strep and am stuck in bed again. I went to the doctor and was given a penicillin shot to stop the virus. I feel better than I did yesterday, but I still feel awful. I also had an allergic reaction to the throat numbing sucker that I was given. Such a bummer.

I can feel my hormones trying to rebalance themselves out. My basal body temperature has been all over which was expected. (but actually not too bad if you take away the fever day) I have my appettite back, the swelling and water weight I gained after the surgery has finally went down, my breasts are back to normal and I dont need as much sleep anymore. My energy levels are still weak but that could be attributed to the strep... ha..ha... what are the chances? Boy, its been a hard couple if weeks!

With work we had a big event that I couldnt miss, my dad who is also my boss calls me his Ace in the hole.... I made 65 arrangments with little to no help with a fever of 101.6 degrees. My co-worker got me ice chips which I am convinced was the only thing that got me through the day!  Right when the event was finished I went straight to the instacare (with the help of my darling husband) where my strep was confirmed and where I received a penicillin shot. (those are incredible by the way) I now can relax in bed until the virus passes through my body.


Here is a snap shot of my cycle so far....


Dear baby....

I can't stop thinking about you. I miss feeling you in my tummy, I miss feeling you with me where ever I go, I miss knowing that you are safe in my tummy, protecting you and loving you with all my heart. I have been filled with a darkening sadness since I lost you. My heart aches to feel for you again. I feel so alone since you were torn from me.... I am so sorry that I lost you, my precious baby.... I know however, that I have not conpletely lost you, you will always be my baby and you will come to me when the timing is right. Once Ive physically healed your daddy and I will fight for you and try again, and with God's mercy you will come to us again. I love you my Angel, I always will for all eternity. Right now my heart hurts, but I know that there will come a day when you are born and my heart will rejoice in a way that seems uncomprehendable. You will bring your mommy and daddy so much happiness when you come home to us. For we are your home. We love you, we pray for you, and I know that one day I will hold you in my arms, being the proudest mommy that a mommy could ever be. My dear precious little one, you will always be in my heart....

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Last heart beat, February 26th 2013

My baby, you will always be with us....

8 w 6 ds

We found out two days ago that our precious little one passed away at 7 w 4 days. Our hearts are completely filled with sorrow. The D&C will take place tomorrow at 1030.

Dear baby, mommy and daddy love you so very much. Our hearts are broken that we will not be able to hold you in our arms this october. But this is not the end, you will still come to us on the Lord's timing.... you will still be our child for us to love, to hold, to charish, to raise to be the best person you can possibley be and to one day have a family of your own. You may not be ours physically, yet, you will always be ours spiritually. Always, our baby, until we meet again...